Janice Thong

Pretty much u shaped my 2015 .

Although I am suffering right now ,

But i will get over this someday . just.. someday




The first day i met you .

Was in class , i didn't pay any extra attention to people like you

cause you are just so blank .

I didn't even ask your name .

As days goes on ,

We eventually become friends like it will be awkward not knowing people from class

We got along pretty fair and i found out that you are a really good and interesting person .

I want to get to know you more , more n more .

But not as a lover , as a friend .




We didn't take long time for that .





At the 2nd sem ,

I don't remember what makes us closer n closer ,

I remember calling her brother ,

Cause she really is one to me

We end up became brothers like different gender ,

We share laughter , sorrow together .

It's the first time i experience i really have a best friend .

Because all along most of them are fake , or gone . or dissapear whatever .

I find out she is a really amazing girl ,

And her really nice personalities is super natural .

I just like being with her .

It justs feel comfortable .

It's feel like there no problem at all when you hang out with her .

That's the feel she gave .







At the 3rd sem is where all came differently ,

I fall in love with you .

Yeah ,

Big mistakes , but i never regret it .

Cause any guy will fall in love with her .

It's where i felt most comfortable with .

I pretty much tell her whats my mind ,

But she take me only as a brother ,

Which i already see this coming but it hurts hell .

I just dont know why ,

The pain i took make me a whole different character of myself .

I can feel myself changing already ...


She's not even my type , but i like her .

She's not even my taste , but i like her .

She's not even my freaking anything , but i just like her .


She's mean world now , i have never been so serious in love before ,

Maybe it's a sign I am growing up .

That's good ... and bad at the same time .



I don't know how i can continue to fake my smile infront of you anymore ,

I really don't have the strength to do it anymore ,

Maybe alot people don't understand the pain ,

They thought it just something I am exaggerating .

Watever man , it's not you , it's me I am feeling .

Anyhow you say you understand , you don't .



I know you been going out with that guy lately ,

Now u trying to do without posting up in media ,

I also heard that ,

That guy moved your heart alot time ,

And travel with you alot ,

And do alot things for you .

I admit i am pretty sad about it ,

But you are happy about it then go for it ,

I will never stop you ,

No , i can't stop you cause it's your life .

I am very sure the amount of things i done ,

He's never catching up .

But thing's turn out become awkward and u kind of avoiding me ,

Yeah , maybe he overtake me soon .


I am quite sad that you actually cared that , who sit beside me or behind in my car ,

I am really really hurt by that ,

I actually heard you say , i dont want sit infront .

When i hurt that , i almost cried but i try not to do infront of you guys .

We are not brother anymore is it?

Yeah , it's better off that way i guess .

Maybe our relationship cannot be mend anymore , idk ,

It seems drowning to me .

I don't have the rope ,

You do , but you choose to ignore the way .

But it's okay .

Fate let us be that way .


We maybe from different world ,

But we already cross path .

For once ,

So thank you for everything you brings.

So now i understand

What peoples says ,

Some people can stay in your heart ,

But not in your life .

I do now .



You are one in a million girl ,

Don't live millions life ,

Live yours .



I am putting my memories here ,

But you will never see it .

So that one day i came back to blog ,

I able to see what i gone thru with you .

Sem 2 , 2 weeks before finals at Kopitiam 

Sem 2 final chemistry .

You had access to my phone , take pic randomly 

It's the ugliest moment .

The first time you belanja me , Tous les JOUR at bukit bintang 

Cho cho chicken with Wendy Low 

Nana green tea , not studying 

The craziest moment .

You really look mature 

You took picture of me . 

Starbuck 1am . OK.

You beg me to eat this weird tongsui shop at Wangsa Maju and then you selfie yourself . 

Good la 

Sem 3 final in reading room , nothing to say , just look at your eyes 

We went shopping , and i think this is your cutest outfit . 

Once friend , forever friend .

Real

Love ,

Is always easy to fall in love ,

But hard to leave .

U just got to move on and find back yourself before u lost your way .

That's life

Paper Towns

Once u go to Paper Towns ,
You will never come back .  I like that .

The movie is alot different than the book

But overall is okay for me .

I just hate the ending for both movie and the movie together .

I hate u JOHN GREEN .

I really like Margo ,

Her nature personalities , charmness ,

I just like it all .

Many peoples give me comment that the actress is not pretty ,

But hey man ,

She's awesome to me even though she's not that hot .

She just so natural .

Don't have any bogus part in her .

I have a lot of thought when i watch this movie actually ,

Just make me thought ,

I do so much for others , will they do the same ?

Questions remains question ..

Obstacle

Sad sad world we are in ,

Everyone struggle for money and power .


Money creates crimes , war , and shit status .

And everyone loves it .

Try to convince me that you don't need it .

You need it for every single shit thing in this world .


For all i know , salary is taking over passion in choosing career .

It's a bitter thing for us all .

The new generation and next and again and again .


I wonder what kind of life i be in , in the next 10 years .

A sorrowful one or a pleased one ?

Back to Self

Everyone has his own love story .

No matter happy ending or other way , it's still a story to remember .

I,myself also have my own story .

But mine don't have it's actual ending .


I been searching for my own full stop for this love story ,
But it haunt me for the continuous suffering .

I admit for this all , I really love this girl .
But ,
What she felt of me is different .

This girl has created a space to fill memories for me .

Maybe that all is not this girl's precious moment .
But to me , it is .

I already reach a point where climax is not able to come to light .
A story with no peak and no ending ,
How pathetic for me .

If there is a full stop or ending ,
Please do tell me how .



My heart now just void .
It's just endless space .

For the time we spend ,
without clues or ideas of us going where ,
It's just so fun .

It's just something to explore what we might not know .

The laughter we spend ,
Ransom.

The sorrow we share ,
Gold .

For all the memories this girl gave ,
I am much obliged to you .


I already know what i have to do .
Not for the sake of this girl ,
For Self .