Va bene Ryan: Janice Thong

Pretty much u shaped my 2015 .

Although I am suffering right now ,

But i will get over this someday . just.. someday

The first day i met you .

Was in class , i didn't pay any extra attention to people like you

cause you are just so blank .

I didn't even ask your name .

As days goes on ,

We eventually become friends like it will be awkward not knowing people from class

We got along pretty fair and i found out that you are a really good and interesting person .

I want to get to know you more , more n more .

But not as a lover , as a friend .

We didn't take long time for that .

At the 2nd sem ,

I don't remember what makes us closer n closer ,

I remember calling her brother ,

Cause she really is one to me

We end up became brothers like different gender ,

We share laughter , sorrow together .

It's the first time i experience i really have a best friend .

Because all along most of them are fake , or gone . or dissapear whatever .

I find out she is a really amazing girl ,

And her really nice personalities is super natural .

I just like being with her .

It justs feel comfortable .

It's feel like there no problem at all when you hang out with her .

That's the feel she gave .

At the 3rd sem is where all came differently ,

I fall in love with you .

Yeah ,

Big mistakes , but i never regret it .

Cause any guy will fall in love with her .

It's where i felt most comfortable with .

I pretty much tell her whats my mind ,

But she take me only as a brother ,

Which i already see this coming but it hurts hell .

I just dont know why ,

The pain i took make me a whole different character of myself .

I can feel myself changing already ...

She's not even my type , but i like her .

She's not even my taste , but i like her .

She's not even my freaking anything , but i just like her .

She's mean world now , i have never been so serious in love before ,

Maybe it's a sign I am growing up .

That's good ... and bad at the same time .

I don't know how i can continue to fake my smile infront of you anymore ,

I really don't have the strength to do it anymore ,

Maybe alot people don't understand the pain ,

They thought it just something I am exaggerating .

Watever man , it's not you , it's me I am feeling .

Anyhow you say you understand , you don't .

I know you been going out with that guy lately ,

Now u trying to do without posting up in media ,

I also heard that ,

That guy moved your heart alot time ,

And travel with you alot ,

And do alot things for you .

I admit i am pretty sad about it ,

But you are happy about it then go for it ,

I will never stop you ,

No , i can't stop you cause it's your life .

I am very sure the amount of things i done ,

He's never catching up .

But thing's turn out become awkward and u kind of avoiding me ,

Yeah , maybe he overtake me soon .

I am quite sad that you actually cared that , who sit beside me or behind in my car ,

I am really really hurt by that ,

I actually heard you say , i dont want sit infront .

When i hurt that , i almost cried but i try not to do infront of you guys .

We are not brother anymore is it?

Yeah , it's better off that way i guess .

Maybe our relationship cannot be mend anymore , idk ,

It seems drowning to me .

I don't have the rope ,

You do , but you choose to ignore the way .

But it's okay .

Fate let us be that way .

We maybe from different world ,

But we already cross path .

For once ,

So thank you for everything you brings.

So now i understand

What peoples says ,

Some people can stay in your heart ,

But not in your life .

I do now .

You are one in a million girl ,

Don't live millions life ,

Live yours .

I am putting my memories here ,

But you will never see it .

So that one day i came back to blog ,

I able to see what i gone thru with you .